Is Your Relationship a Courtroom or a Learning Lab?

Men, I want you to ask yourself a question.

When it comes to your relationship…are you in a courtroom, or are you in a learning lab?

This question is essential because it frames how you show up on your partnership, and it will help you explore areas for improvement in your interpersonal life. It’s so very human to enter into certain conversations defensive, activated, frustrated and ready to defend yourself.

When the other person is talking, are you the plaintiff flinging accusations? Are you the defendant, listening only to hurtle back insults and grievances? Or are you a teammate in the learning lab, exploring solutions? Do you cut your partner slack or do you look for cracks in their argument every time they talk?

In this episode of The Crux, Ryan and Slade help you get real with yourself about your desire to “win”...and why it’s fracturing a relationship that you should be pouring your best self into.

Let’s discuss the courtroom versus the learning lab - listen now!

SHOW NOTES

01:00 – Are you in a courtroom, or a learning lab?

02:09 – You are not your beliefs

06:38 – Courtroom behavior is visceral

07:10 – Slade shares personal examples of courtroom versus learning lab

17:18 – How courtroom versus learning lab starts in childhood

25:45 – Doing the work

SHOW NOTES

00:00 – Embodying the balance of self care and the care of others

02:14 – Men haven’t been taught how to access and develop all parts of their beings

03:50 – The polarization of the self into different domains

07:20 – Engaging with the physical domain of self-care

11:16 – Your own physical dysregulation trickles down to your relationship and family

12:27 – Practices for tending to your nervous system

14:44 – Developing diverse relationships and emotional outlets

17:43 – Being intentional about your self-cultivation