Pain & Meditation

At the core of a lot of problems men have in relationships is that we don’t know how to properly deal with our pain. 

When we can’t actively relate to our pain, we shut ourselves off from emotional presence and withdraw into ourselves to try to cope with the pain rather than attend to it in a healthy way. As a result, we become inaccessible to our partners. 

Now, we all live with a certain amount of pain every day, some more than others–we all have various amounts of physical and emotional distress accompanying us within our bodies. And it’s natural to want to avoid feeling this pain, by either numbing ourselves or by compartmentalizing our feelings so that they don’t build up in the same way. 

In this episode of The Crux, Ryan and Slade dive into the topic of chronic pain to provide men with tactics for opening themselves up to healthy emotional engagement with their partners rather than shutting them out. 

Listen to learn more.

SHOW NOTES

00:00 – Pain is a natural part of life for men

02:16 – The first noble truth of Buddhism: Acknowledging the existence of our pain

03:00 – Meditation allows men to purposely visit the pain points they typically erase or ignore

04:44 – Letting the raw sensations from meditation bring you into presence

05:47 – Engaging in real presence with your partner is what makes the relationship viable

07:07 – Filling the space to avoid fixating on negative feelings

08:09 – How meditation can become uncomfortable for men

10:12 – Taking inventory: Start noticing your distractions

11:36 – Test yourself: How long can you stay with a feeling of hurt, sadness, or negativity?

12:06 – Connect: Share what you’ve discovered with your partner

12:39 – Your life and happiness are in your hands

14:07 – Slow down to go fast